Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
