I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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