Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
nutella sex= disaster
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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