I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
