she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
