Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
