Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
