you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Let's paint friendship bongs
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Randomize
