Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
