Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
