wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
