i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
