I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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