all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Randomize
