what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
