mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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