If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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