yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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