Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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