Barsexuality is the new black.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
