i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize