Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
