just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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