i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
