so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
