I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
