ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
