id be glad to
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize