Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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