she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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