Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize