i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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