I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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