great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
