somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You pole danced in your parka.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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