my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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