my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
