You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
