Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I think i got beer on your cat.
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