One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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