giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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