Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
