Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize