Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
