he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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