I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
