And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
where are my eyebrows?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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