Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
