white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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