I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize