Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
