In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
