"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
