Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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