Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Randomize
