too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
