The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
