i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
