He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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