white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
