Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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