The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize