my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
