I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
