if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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