Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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